I don't know how it started and why it happened, but for some reason i caught myself chatting with you-know-who over the phone last night ( June 15, from 11:00 pm to 12:30 am) when I promised myselft that I'll never speak with him muna again. I went to trinoma with my boy-cousin and headed to UP right after we realize that the mall is too crowded.
When i got home at 7:00 pm, the kid that lives here with us got up to me and said:
"Ay, nagpunta po dito yong lalake na dati natin kasama kumain.
"Then i was like, "Weh? for real?."
She added: "ibabalik daw po yong books na hiniram nya sayo, babalik na lang daw po mamaya."
My throat went dry and my hands grew sweaty. On my way upstairs, my mother told me the same thing and this:
"Nako, si papa mo nagpapakagalit na naman kay you-know-who."
Ah!! whatever! My father still thinks I'm constantly seeing him. If he only knew what happened. And so, I headed straight to my room and dialed his number.I told him not to come again to our house and that it won't be necessary to give back the books i lent him since I've already read those. But he was so makulit and paulet-ulet, he kept on insisting that he'll drop them here as soon as he finish reading them both. Then our topic that started from books went to what happened between us.
I was sooo not expecting discussing those matter with him yet. Duh! recovery stage! DING! DING!Breaking lines from you-know-who:
"Mahalia, your still the same.. di ka pa rin marunong makinig, you kept on butting in. Grow up." - wow! sorry sau Mr. Grown up.
"Never ko dineny na meron akong girlfriend." - Halika, bilangin natin. What you can't measure, you can't manage.
"Ikaw yong unang nangloko." - Proof please. Duh!, august pa lang may girlfriend ka na oi.
"I'm not asking for forgiveness, since most of what happened was your fault" - AY! winner to! then later on he said,
"im sorry if i caused you too much pain." - see, it won't kill you if you accept your faults.
I tried so hard to cool myself down. Breathing exercise please. phew. phew.Then he said he wanted to see and talk things out.
My answer? Sure, but not now nor tomorrow. Lets talk when both us is ready.
If God permits, God will allow.Forgiving is a process.
It can't happen in a snap.