Thursday, June 26, 2008

He will always be a part of me

I had been talking with he-who-must-not-be-named over the phone for this past few days. (Aghh! i got used to it and now its GONE)

He kept on playing the song "always be my baby" while we're talking. He did even sing it to me one time. At first i thought he was being very dramatic.. emotional. But I got curious, so i asked him who sang it. It was David Cook.

This morning, i got a chance to download the song and listen to it several times before meeting him. Tsk. baduy or not, the song fits me again. wohoo! thank you composers! tsk tsk Then i looked for the song's lyrics and finally realized why he kept on singing me this song:

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never dieNo!
You'll always be a part of meI'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Complete song

Have i sinned again?

June 20, 2008
2 days after my birthday

He-who-must-not-be-named and I agreed to go out today to talk about the things that we need to settle. We met in Trinoma, this time, we watched two movies. Get Smart and Made of Honor.

I miss our movie marathon. This is where both of us are good at. Last night we had a mutual understanding that this should be that last time that we are going to meet. I can't bare it anymore. My conscience bugs me everynight. We even promised that we should both avoid texting or any other means of communication.

As of now, 10:06pm we are doing good.When the the last movie that we were watching was about to end, I don't know exactly what happened, but tears from my eyes fell. At first he did not noticed I was sobbing shoulder, but it did not take long for him to realize that I was. Stupid tear, it fell accidentally into his arm. And so, he held my chin and turned it to face him, and asked me why. I did not know what to answer but i kept on saying "sorry." It was never my intention to let him see me cry. I don't want him to be sad nor pity me.

He hugged me and kissed me gently (nakakarami ka na ha!). Then, he told that no matter what happen, I will be always in his mind, i'll always be special, and that he'll always miss me.. He tried to wipe my tears away but they fell continuously. Never ending ba.He hugged me tight, hay nako, he still knows what i want and need.

he-who-must-not-be-named is still he-who-must-not-be-named. Will forever be he-who-must-not-be-named..


He caught me off guard

June 17, 2008
1 day before my birthday

Mahalia reveals all: (err.. not really all all)

I visited our school (Miriam College) because of the part time job that our Department chair offered me. Then, i met up with Rosel for lunch and headed straight to Trinoma after.

He-who-must-not be named invited me there to meet up. He said that since it was my birthday tomorrow, he's the taya.

Since it was libre and all, i agreed.We haven't seen each other for months nor spent time to talk from the day that we broke up last 2005. And so yeah, we watched a movie (like old times) and took out food from Mcdo.

The first time I saw him, he was gazing at me then he asked : "Kumain ka na?"I nodded and asked what we are are watching. He handed me a five hundred peso bill and and said: ikaw pumili, birthday mo diba? Libre! Kung Fu Panda. Before goin in, he insisted to buy something from Mcdo and so i followed him. He either walks behind me or infront of me because he was scared that someone might see him. Haha. I remember the times when i was the one scared that someone might caught me going out with him. It seem that now, it's the other way round na.

He bought me a sundae and a float (i dont drink coke, but what can i do? libre, so sige lang). Grrr.

When we were seated comfortably inside, i secretly glanced at him and thought: I really miss this man, i miss being with him. I miss seating beside him. i miss us.Blah blah blah!. we talked, laughed and reminiced our past (o wag ganun ha). blah blah blah.

When the movie was about to end, he leaned over me and said: "I miss this, I miss taking care of you, sobra kitang namiss ah.."

He held my hand and looked at me. WAAAHH!

That moment, i felt like dying. I just can't explain it, what's funny is that i did not do anything to take my hand back. Stop ticking clock, stop.

Then we talked, he leaned towards me again and kissed me gently on my left cheek. He smiled at me and said " i missed you, ano ba nangyari sa tin non.."

I want to answer him but i was not able to utter any words. Then memories came rushing in. What really caused our break up? Im so confused.

Blah blah blah When the movie ended, he hugged me and said thanks. Of course did the same, duh, opportunity knocks only once. haha. Then, when we were about to leave he held me again bended over and kissed me on my lips. His kisses were unexplainable. He caught me off guard. i did not know my to do, i knew that time that i want to kiss him back, so i did. What i did was kindda bitchy i know but what can else can i do? Bahala na.

My eyes grew hot and watery, he spoke: "i want to take care of you again, but i don't know how and when."

Mahalia, You're still the same, Grow Up!

I don't know how it started and why it happened, but for some reason i caught myself chatting with you-know-who over the phone last night ( June 15, from 11:00 pm to 12:30 am) when I promised myselft that I'll never speak with him muna again. I went to trinoma with my boy-cousin and headed to UP right after we realize that the mall is too crowded.

When i got home at 7:00 pm, the kid that lives here with us got up to me and said:
"Ay, nagpunta po dito yong lalake na dati natin kasama kumain.
"Then i was like, "Weh? for real?."
She added: "ibabalik daw po yong books na hiniram nya sayo, babalik na lang daw po mamaya."

My throat went dry and my hands grew sweaty. On my way upstairs, my mother told me the same thing and this:

"Nako, si papa mo nagpapakagalit na naman kay you-know-who."

Ah!! whatever! My father still thinks I'm constantly seeing him. If he only knew what happened. And so, I headed straight to my room and dialed his number.I told him not to come again to our house and that it won't be necessary to give back the books i lent him since I've already read those. But he was so makulit and paulet-ulet, he kept on insisting that he'll drop them here as soon as he finish reading them both. Then our topic that started from books went to what happened between us.

I was sooo not expecting discussing those matter with him yet. Duh! recovery stage! DING! DING!Breaking lines from you-know-who:

"Mahalia, your still the same.. di ka pa rin marunong makinig, you kept on butting in. Grow up." - wow! sorry sau Mr. Grown up.

"Never ko dineny na meron akong girlfriend." - Halika, bilangin natin. What you can't measure, you can't manage.

"Ikaw yong unang nangloko." - Proof please. Duh!, august pa lang may girlfriend ka na oi.

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, since most of what happened was your fault" - AY! winner to! then later on he said,

"im sorry if i caused you too much pain." - see, it won't kill you if you accept your faults.

I tried so hard to cool myself down. Breathing exercise please. phew. phew.Then he said he wanted to see and talk things out.

My answer? Sure, but not now nor tomorrow. Lets talk when both us is ready.

If God permits, God will allow.Forgiving is a process.
It can't happen in a snap.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Cool CS avatar

It this from one the users members of crunchyroll.

Heart it, so i copied it, posted it here and used it for my avatar.

isn't this the coolest? ^_^

Friday, June 13, 2008

Korean/Taiwanese Series

For the past few months, i've been watching series/movies from Korea and Taiwan non-stop.
Thanks to crunchyroll and pirated DVD vendors. Well its not that i'm supporting or advertising unlicensed products ok. TSk, we can't deny naman that the stuff they sell are so much cheaper than the original ones. Right?

Why do i enjoy watching them?

Err. Compared to the T.V series from mexico like Rosalinda, Marimar etc. (Wag akong fan ni Thalia ha), Taiwanese and Korean's are cleaner and lighter to take.
Cleaner meaning there are less erotic scence, hence, can be watched by all ages. Also, the stories are simpler, more enjoyable and less complicated. Most of them include funny yet kilig-to-the-bones scenes. Moreover they show less "sampalan," "sabunutan,"and "iyakan" but are capable of making you cry.

Anyway, here's a list of the series and movies I've watched.

Full house
Princess Hours
Which Star are you from?
My Girl
Romantic Princess
It started with a kiss
They kissed again
My Girl and I
Wind Struck
My Sassy Girl
My Sassy Girl Choon Hyang
Dolphin Bay
Princess Lulu
Lovers in Paris
Witch Yoo Hee


“You can walk into a room wearing a t-shirt and jeans, no make-up, yet be the most attractive girl… For at the end of the day, the world will look up to you not because you look like the next top model, but because you are a thinking woman with opinion… Fashion sense helps, but brain will always be deadlier than a pair of stilletos…”