He will always be a part of me

I had been talking with he-who-must-not-be-named over the phone for this past few days. (Aghh! i got used to it and now its GONE)

He kept on playing the song "always be my baby" while we're talking. He did even sing it to me one time. At first i thought he was being very dramatic.. emotional. But I got curious, so i asked him who sang it. It was David Cook.

This morning, i got a chance to download the song and listen to it several times before meeting him. Tsk. baduy or not, the song fits me again. wohoo! thank you composers! tsk tsk Then i looked for the song's lyrics and finally realized why he kept on singing me this song:

Now you want to be free

So I'm letting you fly

Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never dieNo!

You'll always be a part of meI'm a part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Complete song

Have i sinned again?

June 20, 2008
2 days after my birthday

He-who-must-not-be-named and I agreed to go out today to talk about the things that we need to settle. We met in Trinoma, this time, we watched two movies. Get Smart and Made of Honor.

I miss our movie marathon. This is where both of us are good at. Last night we had a mutual understanding that this should be that last time that we are going to meet. I can't bare it anymore. My conscience bugs me everynight. We even promised that we should both avoid texting or any other means of communication.

As of now, 10:06pm we are doing good.When the the last movie that we were watching was about to end, I don't know exactly what happened, but tears from my eyes fell. At first he did not noticed I was sobbing shoulder, but it did not take long for him to realize that I was. Stupid tear, it fell accidentally into his arm. And so, he held my chin and turned it to face him, and asked me why. I did not know what to answer but i kept on saying "sorry." It was never my intention to let him see me cry. I don't want him to be sad nor pity me.

He hugged me and kissed me gently (nakakarami ka na ha!). Then, he told that no matter what happen, I will be always in his mind, i'll always be special, and that he'll always miss me.. He tried to wipe my tears away but they fell continuously. Never ending ba.He hugged me tight, hay nako, he still knows what i want and need.

he-who-must-not-be-named is still he-who-must-not-be-named. Will forever be he-who-must-not-be-named..

NOT THE END.

He caught me off guard

June 17, 2008
1 day before my birthday

Mahalia reveals all: (err.. not really all all)

I visited our school (Miriam College) because of the part time job that our Department chair offered me. Then, i met up with Rosel for lunch and headed straight to Trinoma after.

He-who-must-not be named invited me there to meet up. He said that since it was my birthday tomorrow, he's the taya.

Since it was libre and all, i agreed.We haven't seen each other for months nor spent time to talk from the day that we broke up last 2005. And so yeah, we watched a movie (like old times) and took out food from Mcdo.

The first time I saw him, he was gazing at me then he asked : "Kumain ka na?"I nodded and asked what we are are watching. He handed me a five hundred peso bill and and said: ikaw pumili, birthday mo diba? Libre! Kung Fu Panda. Before goin in, he insisted to buy something from Mcdo and so i followed him. He either walks behind me or infront of me because he was scared that someone might see him. Haha. I remember the times when i was the one scared that someone might caught me going out with him. It seem that now, it's the other way round na.

He bought me a sundae and a float (i dont drink coke, but what can i do? libre, so sige lang). Grrr.

When we were seated comfortably inside, i secretly glanced at him and thought: I really miss this man, i miss being with him. I miss seating beside him. i miss us.Blah blah blah!. we talked, laughed and reminiced our past (o wag ganun ha). blah blah blah.

When the movie was about to end, he leaned over me and said: "I miss this, I miss taking care of you, sobra kitang namiss ah.."

He held my hand and looked at me. WAAAHH!

That moment, i felt like dying. I just can't explain it, what's funny is that i did not do anything to take my hand back. Stop ticking clock, stop.

Then we talked, he leaned towards me again and kissed me gently on my left cheek. He smiled at me and said " i missed you, ano ba nangyari sa tin non.."

I want to answer him but i was not able to utter any words. Then memories came rushing in. What really caused our break up? Im so confused.

Blah blah blah When the movie ended, he hugged me and said thanks. Of course did the same, duh, opportunity knocks only once. haha. Then, when we were about to leave he held me again bended over and kissed me on my lips. His kisses were unexplainable. He caught me off guard. i did not know my to do, i knew that time that i want to kiss him back, so i did. What i did was kindda bitchy i know but what can else can i do? Bahala na.


My eyes grew hot and watery, he spoke: "i want to take care of you again, but i don't know how and when."